Planning a wedding in Maryland should be exciting, and it is! There are many great wedding venues in Maryland, and wedding styles can be as rustic or as regal as you want them to be!

But let’s also be real — we can’t have everything we want in a wedding, and we most certainly can’t please everyone. And that begs an important question – who do we need to please when planning a Maryland wedding?

Is it the bride? No. That’s called the “Bridezilla” wedding plan, and there’s just one rule: what the bride wants, the bride gets. Period. End of story. In the long run, this method for planning a wedding satisfies literally no one and usually ends in hurt feelings, drama, and regrets.

What is the Rule of Three?

The “rule of three” is based on the principle that things that come in threes are inherently more satisfying, or more effective. And isn’t that our goal during the wedding planning process?

Who Participates in Wedding Planning?

There are THREE people we need to please throughout the wedding planning process: 1) the bride, 2) the groom, and 3) whoever is paying the bill for the wedding. This is often a parent.

We’ll call these people the stakeholders. If the bride and groom are paying for the wedding themselves, not only have they simplified the process, they may also be heading into their first major test in decision-making as a couple. (Hint: see paragraph 1 for an important reminder.)

Setting Your Wedding Priorities

Once we know who we must please, the next step is understanding what each person wants in a wedding. For this we can also look to the rule of three, in which each stakeholder makes a list of their top 3 priorities. These priorities represent the key component for a successful wedding… for THEM. In theory, there are no wrong priorities, but at this stage, it’s important to be realistic.

For example, your top 3 may be something like: 1) fall wedding; 2) lots of friends; 3) lots of dancing.

Your fiancé’s list may be 1) casual celebration; 2) outdoor ceremony; 3) broad range of current and classic music.

And while a financial stakeholders’ priorities will usually revolve around the budget and invitation list, you should encourage them to add 2 or 3 priorities to their list as well.

Consolidating Your Lists to 3 Core Priorities

The next steps are to identify common themes between your lists and find creative ways to incorporate priorities that may not be shared.

For example, given the above lists, your net list of core priorities may look something like this:

  1. September or October wedding
  2. Backyard wedding with 150 people or barn-style wedding with 100 people
  3. Wedding DJ instead of live wedding band

From here, most of your other planning decisions should be relatively easy. And when you come across a product, service, or social media post that cause you to take your eyes off the ball, STOP. Step back and revisit your top 3 priorities, and focus on what matters most to you.

Patience is Key When Planning a Wedding in Maryland

Keep in mind, this process does not come easily to everyone. You may need to put your list aside temporarily in order to be deliberate about listening to your fiancé and other stakeholders as they consider what is important to them.

And as sincere as your fiancé is when he or she says, “whatever you want is fine with me,” it’s not entirely true. Find a way to get their input by offering them some choices. For example, do you think we should have the happy hour inside or outside? You may not get an exact answer to the question, but you may pick up on other preferences that have not been mentioned.

Patience goes a long way. And down the road, it is unlikely that you will look back at the microscopic details with any real sense of fondness or remorse. But the sensible decisions you make now about the fundamentals of your wedding day will be rewarded with a lifetime of happy memories.

Planning a wedding in Maryland? Raptor Productions is a professional DJ company based in Maryland. We provide a full spectrum of wedding DJ and event planning services. Contact us today to start planning your happy event!